Let Go of Words That Wound: Ahimsa in Everyday Life
Welcome to Week 1 of “Living La Vida Yoga,” a soulful August series exploring the Yamas—ethical precepts that invite us to live with alignment, compassion, and authenticity. This week, we begin with Ahimsa: the radical practice of kindness, especially toward ourselves.
At the beginning of the year, I started a journey—yoga teacher training. Although I have a very long history with “yoga practice,” it wasn’t until I met the concept of Ahimsa—radical kindness toward the self—that I began to understand what healing truly requires.
I didn’t think I was really at a place in my life to start this journey—I was fresh out of a very long relationship, had my heart ripped open, and found myself living through a traumatic situation I never imagined I would ever see myself in. Nevertheless, without real financial means to do so, scared, and reeling with raw pain, here I was. I found myself sitting in front of a group of strangers, bare and uncertain, about to embark on a journey I didn’t yet realize would lead me back to myself—and into the arms of a small but mighty circle of women who would become my source of support, learning, growth, and magic.
From the very first moment, there was an unspoken invitation to be open, real, and authentic. The tears flowed, the questions arose, the hugs took hold, the shoulders to lean on were strong, and the immediate love was penetrable. That, mi amor, is kindness in action!
I dedicate this series to the beautiful and amazing women who walked the journey with me and have become beacons of hope, light, and inspiration. Whether we are in search of the perfect yoga panties, need a recommendation for a peak pose, or are just looking for encouragement to walk through the fire—they are my tribe. It was this amazing group of women who gave me space to explore my vulnerabilities and struggle through my own self-defeating inner dialogue. At every turn, they met me with patience, understanding, and with the very topic we are discussing today—kindness.
First things first, amigas de yoga—Ahimsa.
Ahi-what?
Exactly!
We had no idea either. Throughout our journey, we dove deep into the beautiful teachings of yoga, beginning with the Yamas—a set of everyday guidelines and practices that move us to live with more intention, connection, and purpose. First up—Ahimsa—the practice of non-violence or kindness.
When we think of violence, disturbing images may come to our mind—the conditioning that comes from years of watching the news. We think of all the horrid things that plague our society. What we do not think about is that words, contrary to the old “…words will never hurt me” saying, can hurt! Words have a way of sneaking deep into our minds to trick us into believing things that are not true about ourselves. Then, these words become the tools we use to enact violence. While Ahimsa refers to all forms of non-violence, including words, actions, blurred boundaries, how we treat our bodies, how we are in relation with others, and more, in this post, I focus on one powerful piece—language.
What do non-violence and words have to do with Yoga?
Yoga is about bringing together the multiple dimensions of ourselves. And what I have learned is that there is greater power in the practice when you can bring your mind, body, and soul together as one. Aligning our perspective and how we live each day fuels what we bring to the mat, and what we do on the mat has the power to change how we show up in our lives.
There are two elements of practicing non-violence. The way we treat others, and how we treat ourselves. Think for a moment of the type of judgments, standards, and unrealistic expectations we place upon ourselves and the self-bashing that ensues— “I suck at this.” “I will never look like her.” “No one will ever accept me like this.” “I will not have any students in my class because I am not one of those perfect yoga teachers.” “I am unlovable.” “I am not enough,” and the list goes on. When we bring these thoughts with us into our practice, we reinforce these messages and continue to push that violence on ourselves. In turn, this is what we take back into the world, and it becomes a cycle of reinforcing and enacting violence on ourselves.
It's bad enough that we live in a society where we are constantly judged and made to feel inadequate; now, we have tricked ourselves into doing the same thing to others, and sadly to ourselves. Sometimes, we mask it as “self-improvement” or “self-awareness,” but the tools we use to flourish and grow are not meant to be unkind. Any form of self-discovery or change has the potential to be painful as it may call us to break off relationships, set boundaries, shift the perspective that is most familiar to us, or take big steps towards addressing elements of ourselves that may be destructive. More importantly, when we are wading through the fire of transformation, the last thing we need is to meet ourselves with violence or unkindness.
No, amiga, we do not have to internalize what is pushed upon us to oppress our own magic and dim our own light.
The teachings of yoga call us to see ourselves with eyes of love and treat ourselves with the kindness we want our daughters, nieces, mothers, abuelas, comadres, and yoga sisters to feel. It calls us to not only accept ourselves for who we are in all our perfectly imperfect existence, but to honor ourselves.
My entire connection to my body, my mind, my breath, my soul, and my mat changed when I spoke gently and lovingly to myself. When I stepped on my mat with a quiet ease, enveloped in my own embrace. When I let go of the judgement that weighed so heavily upon my shoulders. And when I lovingly accepted my whole beautiful self—mind, body, heart, and soul.
As loving kindness to you, I invite you to explore what it feels like to be kind to yourself. To feel the release that comes from letting go of all the negativity and judgment we have internalized.
And I am not talking about empty affirmations; I am talking about allowing yourself to just be. Whole. Open. Authentic. Loved.
Breathe it deep into your core. Let every movement guide your breath to every inch of your body—all the parts you’ve always loved and all the parts you’ve always hated. When you step onto your mat, do so gracefully, with purpose. As you take that first inhale to set your intention—breathe in the warmth of self-love and exhale the words, attitudes, and judgements that have held you back.
Let me be real for a second—this is NOT easy! I can sit here and say it to you as if I have mastered it myself. I have not. I work at it every day, making conscious choices every time I confront something that makes me feel inadequate or when others choose to displace their anger and hate on me through words and actions. And honestly, some days, I just do not have it in me. The only thing I can do is consistently remind myself of my worth and reframe my thoughts as if I am speaking to the person I love most in this world. It is a constant process of remembering that…
We deserve kindness. We deserve acceptance. We deserve love. Although others in your life may give you all these things, no one can ever know you, understand you, and love you like you!
As we continue this journey of learning together, remember that Yo-ga (to yolk or bring together) is far more than a set of physical postures; it is a ritual, a spiritual practice, a method of coming back home to yourself. Take it slow—one step, one breath, one movement at a time.
How to Begin:
Here are a few tips, tools, and practices to help you begin the journey beyond the asanas and back home to yourself.
1. Develop a new relationship with your mat.
Maybe your mat has always been a place to “work.” You have programmed your mind and body to see your mat and trigger ideas of physical practice, exertion, or active movement. So, shift your perspective.
Spend one day a week, just sitting on your mat.
Write in a journal
Meditate (find one in the free workbook)
Breathe
2. Select a mat that speaks to your soul, not just your body.
Think about why and how you selected your mat—was it cost, practicality, color, size, material, or just simple functionality? Maybe it is time that you find a new mat that you choose with a deeper purpose.
Is there a color that “feels” good to you?
Do you want a mat with alignment guides to feel more aligned in your practice of bringing the physical and spiritual together?
Is there a material that is more eco-conscious and sustainable and more closely aligns with your values? (I personally have really taken to cork mats and props.)
Do you want a smaller mat that feels lighter and provides a feeling of ease and freedom?
Or do you want a larger, heavier mat that gives you a sense of greater stability and grounding.
I have a varied collection of mats that I use depending on my needs and feeling for that day.
3. Bring ritual into your practice.
How do you approach your sessions? Do you run into a yoga studio, rush your set-up and jump in? Or do you practice at home and take your time?
If you go to a studio, maybe you want to arrive a little early if possible to give your mind time to transition into the space.
Take a moment to sit and breathe on your own. Heck, we know some people like to do handstands.
If you practice at home, maybe you want to adjust the lighting, fire up some incense or a pleasant candle before stepping onto your mat.
4. Be intentional about your intentions.
Have you ever thought about what you want to gain out of your practice?
I love using a yoga journal to set my intentions before a session and reflect on how I feel after.
When you sign up for that “gentle flow” class online, think about why you are choosing it. Is it because it’s the only one that fits your schedule, or do you need a gentle energy in your life right now?
5. Incorporate breathwork before starting your flow.
You’ll find a downloadable breath card below, perfect for starting your journey into self-awareness.
This week, let Ahimsa guide your movements, your breath, and your inner dialogue. Let your mat be a place of remembering, not performing. And most of all, may your practice become an offering of love—to yourself, and to the world you touch.
Choose one kind thing to do for yourself and one other person each day.
Use loving words towards yourself
Offer a smile to a stranger
Pay yourself and someone a compliment
Any other little act of kindness you can think of
Con cariño y compasión,
Mari