The Lies We Tell Ourselves: Finding Freedom in Satya
Satya -Truthfulness
Here's my truth: I have lied many times in my life. I don't feel well when I do, but I needed an excuse to get out of something, I liked something when I thought it was horrible, I got stuck in traffic when I was actually late because I wanted a coffee. We've all done it—those "little white lies" we consider harmless. Think about that for a moment: What are some of the lies you've told?
Looking back, the biggest lies I ever told were to myself. And by no means were these lies harmless, but they had become such a part of me that I didn't even realize I was lying to myself.
I struggled for a very long time with masked anger that manifested as anxiety, depression, exhaustion, illness, and insomnia.
What exactly was I so angry about?
The way I was treated—assault, emotional abuse, degradation, and the unkindness of people having low expectations of me. I regularly heard "you are too much," "you are exaggerating," "you're crazy," and "no one will ever love you like you are." I internalized all of these, and they became my truth. Somehow, in my mind, the acts and words I was subjected to became part of my story.
It wasn't until I started understanding Satya—another Yama or ethical guideline within yoga philosophy—that emphasizes the importance of truth—that I was able to shift my perspective and make deep changes.
Beyond Simple Honesty
Within Yoga philosophy, Satya is much more than simply not telling lies; it's about alignment. Satya reminds us to live with integrity, be honest with ourselves and others, and integrate our TRUE selves with how we show up in the world. An especially challenging part of Satya is the act of balancing truth with non-harming. This is not one of those cases where I am calling for a radical shift towards truth-telling, this is a call to compassionate self-awareness.
There's something beautiful that happens in our forties—our buried strength, courage, and fire emerge with fierce energy. We begin to re-member, reclaim, and show up for ourselves. But this is where things get tricky—what "me-search" are we using to inform our rise to power?
Being an incessantly curious “me-seacher,” I went on a "trauma quest," seeking to uncover what happened in my life that left me feeling constantly depleted, emotionally reactive, and repeating unhealthy patterns. In this process, I pinpointed critical moments throughout my life that created deep wounds that shaped the story I told myself and how I interacted with the world.
Thinking I had a full grasp of the "what,” I was determined to uncover the "why" these things happened to me. As I dug deeper, I realized I was recreating cycles of harm by telling myself that I deserved everything that cut my soul—that I was “too much,” “crazy,” and “unlovable.” I was revictimizing myself and burying the real truth. It soon became clear that the “why” was not as important as understanding that I was retraumatizing myself with a false narrative based on lies.
The Quiet Voice of Truth
The quiet voice inside kept nudging me until I finally did something different. I took what I learned about Ahimsa—nonviolence towards myself—and used it to guide my truth seeking. ¡Ay Dios mío, what a shift!
The things that happened to me, happened, but they were never really about me—they were more about wounded people wounding others. That understanding brought compassion—for them and for myself. This was not about excusing behavior, I had to face the reality that I could not change the past, the only thing I could do was choose how to live my life from that point forward.
Taking Responsibility
Facing my own role in my pain was hard. I had to admit that I played a part in hurting myself by staying too long, looking the other way, compromising everything about myself, and telling myself lies about who I am and what I deserve.
I realized that I had to let go of the lies about me and work to uncover my true self. This was not about forgiving the people who hurt me, it was about taking back my power to tell my own story, grounded in truth and love. And to do this, I needed to reconnect with the deepest part of myself.
Pause. Notice. Reframe. This is not self-bashing; it’s compassionate self-awareness. It’s recognizing the power I have over my life, to connect to my truth, and change my story.
The Misaligned Protective Patterns We Create to Survive
When we have lived with trauma, and have consistently repeated lies to ourselves, we often develop misaligned protective behaviors. For example, a person labeled as “bossy” may simply be trying to control a life that has felt out of control for too long. A person who is not very communicative about their emotions may fear vulnerability because they have a history of being hurt. Until we are also able to tell the truth about our behaviors, how they impact our lives, and why we keep them going, we will always be trapped by them.
From Inner Work to Mat Work
Truth-telling extends naturally to our yoga practice. Yoga is about integrating ourselves—mind, body, heart, and soul. It is about being intentional in how we care for ourselves, the expectations we set, and the limits we respect. If we are living in a pattern of lies, we cannot fully integrate.
And this applies even to the smallest moments on our mat. Do we push ourselves beyond our limits, potentially causing harm, because we are trying to prove that we "can"? Why are we even on the mat? Are we there because we believe the lie that we have to have a certain type of body to deserve love? Satya follows us into every pose, every breath, and every intention we set.
When we practice with truthfulness, we honor what our body is telling us today, not what we wish it could do or what we think it should do. We listen to the whisper that says "rest" instead of the shout that says "prove yourself." We show up as we are, not as we think we should be, or how we have been told we should be.
The Challenge and the Gift
Satya may be the hardest Yama to practice. It requires balancing truth with compassion, facing truths we’d rather avoid, and showing ourselves kindness when we think we’ve failed. It’s about taking responsibility—not for what was done to us, but for believing the lies and making them part of our story.
Stop. Reflect. Show love. Shift the narrative. Truth-telling may be hard and painful, but it also has the power to set us free and give us the ability to reconnect with our true selves—the beautiful, soulful essence of who we are beneath the self-deception.
How to Begin Truth-Telling to Shift the Narrative
Reflect. Use a journal or journal prompts to explore your inner truth. Perhaps you want to light a soothing candle that helps with clarity. Try not to overwhelm yourself and look deep at one truth at a time
Ritual: After you have identified a truth you want to work with...
Clear a space with incense
Take out a journal to create steps you want to take or ideas you want to further explore
Say a prayer, incantation, manifestation calling, or any other action that allows you to connect with your inner ability to speak your truth.
Use deep meditation to help bring you clarity as you wrestle to identify your truths.
Identify one meditation from an app, online, one you develop, or one I share in the Satya workbook and listen to daily for at least 21 days to begin reprogramming your brain to align with your new narrative.
Intuitive yoga is about trusting your intuition and listening to your body to guide you through a yoga flow. Use the included set of asanas or select your own and allow yourself to move from asana naturally with breath and body awareness, using any moves or asanas that resonate for you. The key is to honor your body and be honest with yourself about where you are in your body that day.
Find support from outside of your friends and family network. Use this guide to find a therapist who may fit your needs best. (General PSA: We love our friends and family, but when it comes to compassionate truth-telling, they are not always the best source. They don’t want to hurt us, so they may hold on to the same lies that keep us from seeing all sides of ourselves.)
