Rage as Sacred Medicine: When The Fire Rises, Meet it with Reverance

"For women, anger is often the emotion that's left unloved. But it's the emotion that will set you free."
— Mari G., from the other side of silence

Rage as Sacred Medicine

I didn't know how much rage was within me until I was alone. Not lonely, not abandoned, but alone—as in, safe enough to feel. For the first time in my life, there were no footsteps to track, no moods to anticipate, no eggshells to walk on. It was just me and the breath I forgot I was holding.

And then, it rose.

It was not gentle, not quiet; it overcame me like a surge.

My body cracked open, and the tears came with a primal fury. I cried like something ancient was leaving my body. I cried like rage had been slowly growing, imprisoned within me for over 25 years.

As women, we're taught that rage is dangerous and unbecoming—that it makes us look crazy, aggressive, unstable. And so, we learn early how to tuck it into tight little pockets deep within us, only letting it leak out as tears, tension headaches, or relentless self-blame. Or even worse—we turn it inward. My rage, like many others, learned to wear masks that burned me from the inside out: anxiety, depression, fatigue. The world could accept us behind those masks as long as we did not dare to be fierce, assertive, strong, or outspoken.

But now? This rage was naked and ready to speak.

It's the body saying, I deserve better. It's the spirit saying, This is not aligned. It's the soul rising up from beneath years of conditioning, loudly declaring: Remember me?

I now understand that rage is not something to be feared. When met with reverence and tended with love, rage is transformative.

There is a Biological Basis for Rage

During our midlife years, we struggle to understand the various ways our bodies seem to be betraying us, forgetting to honor the beauty of change and evolution. Everything natural in this world evolves, and we are no different. Part of the reason we are called crazy and out of control during this time is that our bodies are screaming for us to finally give them the kind of attention they deserve.

There is a biological basis for rage during midlife—hormonal fluctuations.

During perimenopause specifically, estrogen and progesterone fluctuate, which impacts all the chemicals responsible for our moods: serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.

There is a biological basis for this, but I am not here for a biology lesson; I am here to share how nurturing self-awareness during this time is essential to understanding the deeper messages that every change delivers.

I swear, hot flashes are just rage leaving the body at a time it feels "safe" to do so. And what if the mood swings and sudden bursts of I can't take this shit anymore are not signs of a biological breakdown but a call to heal?

We may not even immediately understand why we are crying uncontrollably, or why our partner’s chewing suddenly enrages us, or how it is even possible that we burst into laughter when, clearly, it is not the moment for that. It is our body, doing what it needs to do to help us re-member, to call our attention back to ourselves, to remind us of all the feelings we left ignored to protect others. And to nudge us back to caring for ourselves.

Hormones may shift, yes. But so do the boundaries we're no longer willing to compromise. The roles we no longer want to play. The silence we no longer care to keep.

We are allowed to be angry.

We are allowed to have righteous rage.

We are allowed to reclaim our fire.

And when someone tells you to "calm down" or "be more reasonable," you say, "No, mi amor. I'm finally letting my truth be set free."

Of course, this does not give you the right to take your rage out on others, but it does give you an opportunity to alchemize that energy for your highest good.

Midlife magic isn't soft and gentle all the time. Sometimes it burns. Sometimes it howls. But it always brings you closer to yourself if you know how to harness the power to heal what needs healing.

Let's be Clear—We are NOT Talking About Violent Rage

I'm not talking about unprocessed rage that harms or explodes outward. I'm talking about the alchemical kind. The kind that we have been consuming and storing for years. Rage that you can work with. The kind of rage that is sacred medicine, helping us transform this energy into healing light.

And what exactly do we need this "healing light" for?

To heal all the wounds that were left open. The self-doubt, self-hate, and lies we came to believe. We need this light to be set free because we deserve to stand in our strength, power, and wholeness. We need this light to illuminate the path back to ourselves.

Remember, amiga, you are magic! Everything you need to heal is already inside you—learn to use your power to build you up and not tear you down.

If you are one of those people who, like me, used your energy to tear yourself down, imagine how it will feel when you use that immense power to help you rise and re-member.

You are an alchemist—it's time to transform!

Be the Alchemist—Resources and Rituals to Help You

Below are sacred practices that have helped me release, honor, and transform rage into something more powerful: truth, clarity, and creation.

1. Write It Raw

• No editing. No censoring. Let it rip. Burn the page after if you need to.

• Try a "rage letter" to someone who hurt you—burn it instead of sending it.

• Or: Write a letter from your rage to you. What does it want you to know?

Consider an open journal or a downloadable rage-writing ritual PDF.

2. Move It Out

Rage needs movement to leave the body.

• Dance: Play a song that matches your fire. Let your body go wild.

• Stomp: Barefoot on earth. Each step, a release. Let sound come out.

• Yoga: Poses like Goddess Pose with a primal roar can release rage. A savasana variation like supported fish opens your throat chakra so you may speak your truth and open your chest to release all that you hid inside.

• Breathe: Breath of Fire can help process and release the inner fire.

Consider an Energy Cleansing Smudging Set or a Turquoise Howlite bracelet to help transform your energy.

3. Scream Therapy (Yes, Really)

• Into a pillow. In your car. Into the wind.

• Let it out with intention. Then follow it with deep, nourishing breath.

• This is about expression, not chaos.

Consider a peace and healing candle, calming room mist, or gemstone water bottle to reset after.

4. Fire & Water Ceremonies

• Write down what enrages you. Burn it (safely!) with a candle or match.

• Then, cleanse: a cold shower, a salt bath, or a literal cry in the tub.

• Let the elements do what they were designed to do—transmute.

Consider a calming herbal bath, or a copalera with incense to clear any blocked or stagnant energy within and around you.

Gentle Integration & Support

Rage isn't something you "get over." It's something you learn to work with. Below are a few ways I'm learning to integrate it, honor it, and stay grounded:

• Nourishment: Cooling foods to balance the fire within. (Hibiscus agua fresca, anyone?)

• Supplements: Adaptogens like ashwagandha, magnesium, and calming teas can ease the nervous system.

• Creative Outlets: Painting, dancing, cooking, writing, collage-making—all give the rage a new language.

• Holistic & functional medicine practitioners can help address the biological basis for physical changes to ease transitions.  

And Finally, Remember This:

Your rage is not your enemy. It is your truth-teller, your boundary-keeper, your inner fire that refuses to let you settle for less than you deserve.

Let them call you too much, too intense, too angry.

You know better. Rage is your medicine, feel it, honor it, release it, transform—just wait until they see you shine!

Con fuego y alma.

Mari

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